


The Nice Boy By the Meadow

by AziaTheVillain (orphan_account)



Category: Free!
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - 1930s, Alternate Universe - 1940s, Death in Childbirth, Great Depression, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Same-Sex Marriage, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-13 03:31:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 17,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2135469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/AziaTheVillain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto's bad day was topped off with his hat being caught by the wind and flying away from him. Another boy caught it, his new neighbor. Soon, over some time, the two formed an inseparable bond through all the poverty, war, and loneliness around them.  </p><p>But Makoto sometimes thinks that Sousuke regrets their relationship as they grow older. He sometimes thinks that if they had never met then there would be no heartache.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. November 24, 1930

**Author's Note:**

> [inspiration](http://rainbowthinker.tumblr.com/post/89048074574/the-nice-boy-by-the-meadow-help-im-losing). ❤

Makoto Tachibana’s hat suddenly flew from his head. He hadn’t felt the sudden gust of wind at all, and it seemed to only affect his hat. He sighed and jumped after it. He couldn’t seem to get it.

He knew that he had to retrieve his hat at all costs. His school was very strict on their code of dress and his family could not afford a new uniform.

Makoto found himself running through the stretch of meadow that was behind his home. The greenery went on for infinity and beyond it seemed. Makoto didn’t want to run across yards upon miles of meadow to get his hat. He wanted to go home, do his chores, and go to bed. It had not been the best day for him.

He at first almost didn’t go to school, as there was a fight among the few teachers there. One had proclaimed that they might as well quit their jobs since they were being underpaid. The others had insisted that education must go on, even if they ended up working for a penny a lesson.

He slipped on his way out of class and got some mud on his pants. He knew that the stain was going to be hard to get out, as the Tachibana household was experiencing some problems with the electricity. His parents were surely paying the bills on time, yet the power flickered on and off anyways. Makoto knew that he would have to scrub the stain out by hand.

And now his hat was taken by the wind, and he was hopelessly chasing after it. He honestly just wanted to go to sleep.

A hand came out of nowhere. Makoto didn’t see anyone else in the meadow. Perhaps he was just too focused on his hat. He needed to learn to be more aware of his surroundings then. He blamed his absentmindedness on his bad day.

A boy slowly lowered his hand and handed the hat over. “Careful,” he said. “It’s really windy today.” The boy had on a uniform also, but not a hat or a collar. Makoto assumed that the boy was older than him. He was taller too. His hair was shaggy and his eyes drooped like his own. Maybe he could make a friend out of this boy. If he was nice that is.

Makoto smiled as he replaced his hat atop his head. “Thanks, I thought I was going to lose it.” The boy shrugged. He had a relaxed look on his face. Makoto wondered how the boy was so calm. Everyone – young or old – was worried about the sudden drop of the economy. Even Makoto felt uneasy whenever he entered his home. He always eyed the light bulbs, wondering if they would go out and never turn back on again.

“You’re my neighbor?” The boy asked.

“Um, neighbor? You’re the new people that moved in? Uh, the Yamazaki’s right? My parents told me that you’d be around my age, but you’re older.”

The boy shrugged again. Another gust of wind came and Makoto clamped his hands over his hat. The boy’s hair only became messier.

“Not that much older,” the boy murmured. “Maybe like a year or two.” Makoto nodded. “So, you’re Makoto then?”

“Yeah, I’m Makoto.” He outstretched his hand toward the boy. “Nice to meet you! What’s your name? I kind of forgot, sorry.”

The boy eyed his hand for a moment before he took it. “Sousuke,” he answered. Even though he was young, he had a strong grip. Makoto’s hand throbbed slightly after the handshake.

“I think you guys are coming over for dinner. Do you want to walk home with me?” Sousuke lifted his shoulders to shrug and then let them drop.

“Of course I’m walking with you. We’re going to the same place.”

“Oh.” Makoto’s smile wilted before he picked it back up again. “Yeah, that was kind of stupid to ask. Let’s go then.”

Makoto attempted to spark a conversation with Sousuke on the walk back but he felt as if he was shot down each time. Sousuke didn’t seem particularly angry. Makoto actually couldn’t read any kind of emotion from him. The new boy was a blank slate, there didn’t seem to be anything to him. Perhaps he was hiding something then. Makoto noticed that people with secrets hid them in different ways, whether it was by lying or just not showing any hint of a secret at all.

When they arrived at Makoto’s house the Yamazaki’s were already there. There was a woman that mirrored Sousuke’s facial expression, a man with a wide grin and a straw hat, and a little girl with a pink doll. The adults were talking with Makoto’s parents and the girl was tweaking with the hair of her doll.

Makoto’s mother flashed him a smile after he closed the door. “Makoto, welcome home. I see you brought Sousuke with you.” Makoto smiled also.

“The wind blew my hat off and Sousuke helped get it for me.” Sousuke’s parents only glanced at their son before they turned back to the Tachibana’s. “Is dinner ready?” Makoto asked.

His father nodded. “Can you help me pull out some extra chairs?” Makoto nodded and Sousuke followed alongside him.

Makoto grabbed a chair and set it at the table. There was conveniently enough space to seat everyone.

Makoto was seated in between Sousuke and his sister. The girl was oddly quiet, and she had messy hair also. Makoto tapped her shoulder lightly, as not to startle her. She quickly peered up at him. Her eyes were the same shade as Sousuke’s.

“Y-Yes?” She stuttered. Makoto saw that the both of her front teeth were missing. There was a slight lisp to her voice.

“Hi.” Makoto presented his warmest smile. “What’s your name?”

“Nanami,” she murmured. She clutched her doll closer to her chest. One of her buttons of her dress was missing.

“I’m Makoto.” He outstretched his hand to her. “Nice to meet you Nanami.” She shook his hand quickly. It was sticky and some red substance rubbed onto Makoto’s hand. He rubbed it on his pants. He now had another stain to scrub out after dinner.

“Nice t-to meet you t-too.” The corner of her mouth perked up but it dropped soon after. Makoto wondered if she was unhappy or holding a secret also.

“Nami,” Sousuke called out. “Something wrong?” She shook her head. “You sure?” She shook her head again.

Makoto’s attention was diverted from Nanami to the table as his mother set the food out. Bread, corn, green beans, and chicken were placed hot and steaming on the table. As much as his mouth was watering, Makoto passed the foodstuffs to Sousuke and his sister first.

“Thanks.” Sousuke said. Makoto almost didn’t catch it.

The main conversation of the meal was between the adults. Makoto decided that Sousuke and Nanami needed some quiet to sort out their thoughts.

“Makoto, I made cake for desert.” Makoto’s mother said. “Guess what flavor.”

“Chocolate?” Makoto excitedly asked. His mother uncovered the cake from the middle of the table instead of verbally answering. It was indeed chocolate.

Makoto was always presented the honor of having the first slice, but he gave it to Sousuke and his sister.

“Stop being so nice,” Sousuke muttered after his piece was given.

“Eh? What’s that supposed to mean?” Makoto was taught to be nice to the house guests they had. He figured that digging into the food first would be incredibly rude.

Sousuke took the knife from him, cut a large portion of the cake, and dropped it on Makoto’s plate. “There.” He said. He stuck a new fork through it.

“Sousuke, that was unnecessary.” Sousuke’s father said. There was still a smile on his face and his hat had tilted back some. Makoto thought that a person was supposed to take a hat off when they went underneath any kind of roof. “Makoto can’t eat that much. Right boy?”

Makoto nodded. “It is a bit much.”

“Put some back Sousuke.” Sousuke slowly cut off half of the cake and returned it to its tray. “Good.” His father then turned away from them.

Sousuke polished off his cake rather quickly then. Makoto glanced between Sousuke and Nanami as he finished his own cake. Something had shifted in the atmosphere.

“Let’s go outside.” Sousuke said when he finished. Makoto glanced at his parents for approval before he went out.

Sousuke took a corn cob out of his pocket and began to chew on it as they walked through the meadow. Stray crickets chirped and Makoto feared stepping on one. A new fog covered the sky, shielding the moon and most of the stars. The wind had grown stronger and Makoto could feel it tangling his hair.

Sousuke handed the cob to Makoto. Half of it was eaten and strings were everywhere, but Makoto took it anyways and gladly ate the other side.

The wind grew even stronger.


	2. November 25, 1930

Sousuke walked home with Makoto on the younger boy’s request. Makoto managed to start a discussion about what make a better snack: popcorn or peanuts. Sousuke was faithful to peanuts and Makoto held his ground towards popcorn. Peanuts made his throat itch and eyes water for reasons unknown to him.

A quiet cry emerged from Makoto’s house before he could open the door. His hand froze in midair. “Did something happen?” Sousuke took the key and opened the door for him.

Makoto’s mother was hunched over in a chair, hands covering her face. Makoto’s father was rubbing her back and whispering to Sousuke’s father. Nanami was off to the side, playing with her doll.

“Mom? Dad?” Makoto called out. The men stopped talking and faced their sons. Somber looks graced their faces. “D-Did something happen?” He repeated.

“Earthquake,” Nanami murmured. Makoto’s eyes widened. He didn’t know much about earthquakes other than that they caused many deaths and hurt people. His father had mentioned that quakes were common where they were from. His aunt had died in one.

“There was an earthquake? Is everything okay?” Makoto asked.

His father shook his head. “The quake was reported very close to your grandparent’s home. Your mother’s assuming the worse.”

“We don’t know what happened.” Makoto’s mother sobbed. She wiped her eyes with the hem of her skirt. “Their house was very weak, they live by water. I can’t be optimistic about this.” Makoto recalled his grandparents owning a small home near the ocean. He had always liked the warmth and coziness that the house provided.

Sousuke’s dad straightened his hat and crossed his arms. A cigar hung from his lips. “Must be the hormones,” he remarked. “Makes women more emotional than usual.”

“Hormones?” Makoto blinked.

Sousuke placed a hand on his shoulder. “Your mom’s pregnant.” Makoto’s eyes widened.

“What? You’re having a baby? I didn’t know that.” Makoto wrung his hands together when he wasn’t answered. His father continued his near silent conversation with Sousuke’s father, and his mother continued to cry.

“Come here Nami.” Sousuke held out his hand for his sister to take. She took it without hesitation. “Let’s go outside. The adults need some time alone.”

“They do.” Nanami cuddled her doll to her face. “Momma’s working though.”

“Yes. She’ll be back by midnight. So you’re not going to cry again, alright? Mom’s always going to come back.” Nanami gave a curt nod.

“I know. I’m not going to cry again.”

“Good.” Sousuke nodded also.

Makoto gave a soft smile at the both of them. He wondered if he was going to receive a sister also. He could make her a doll similar to Nanami’s. And the two girls could play with each other alongside him and Sousuke. The mere thought made his smile widen.

The boys sat in the center of the meadow while Nanami pranced off. Her attitude changed completely. She laughed and danced around with her doll. Makoto wondered why she was suddenly so carefree. It was as if she was afraid of something whenever she was inside the Tachibana household.

“I’m sorry about your grandparents.” Sousuke said.

“We don’t know what happened. I hope they’re okay though. We’re supposed to visit them at the end of the summer.” Makoto’s hopes of seeing his grandparents again faded when money started to leak out of their hands. Yet he still hoped. For the majority of his little life he had built an astounding foundation of hopes. Most of them were false though.

“Right.” Sousuke ripped out a strand of grass from the ground and wove it around his finger. “I don’t have any grandparents.”

“Oh.” Makoto looked over to him. “What happened to them?”

Sousuke shrugged. “I don’t know. I just don’t have any.”

“Oh.” Makoto said again. He glanced over Sousuke. The boy didn’t seem sad. He looked indifferent. It took Makoto a moment to notice that Sousuke didn’t have a lot of reactions to things. A group of boys had stolen his lunch but he had only shrugged it off. Makoto had given him half of his sandwich and apple with a confused smile.

“Sousuke!” Nanami yelled. Sousuke sprung to his feet and walked down the hill in front of them. Makoto followed after. Nanami didn’t sound like she was in danger, but she had yelled pretty loudly for her brother.

When they reached the bottom they saw her laying in a field of pink and blue flowers, her doll resting on her arm. “Sousuke!” Nanami yelled again. “Can you make me a crown out of flowers please? I forgot how to do it.”

Sousuke sat next to her. “Hm, I don’t know.”

“Please Sousuke?” Nanami grabbed a handful of flower petals and threw them in the air. They mostly landed on her face and she spat out a few petals afterward. “Please, please, please?”

Wordlessly, Sousuke picked out a few flowers by the stem. He then proceeded to tie the stems together with swift movements. Makoto watched silently. His mother had taught him how to make flower crowns once. After he had finally made a presentable looking one, she wore it for the rest of the day.

After the crown was finished, Nanami took it and placed it on her head. “I’m the princess of the flowers!” She stated. “And you two are the kings.”

Sousuke huffed. “There can only be a queen and king silly. Two kings can’t be together.”

“But you two are together.” She pouted. “You and Mako would make good kings.” She rolled onto her stomach and pointed at the both of them. “Queens are germy! And I can’t be a princess without a king.” She smiled again, showing her gums. Makoto could see the beginnings of a new tooth coming out. “So please be the king with Mako, Sousuke. Please?”

“You say ‘please’ a lot.” Makoto chuckled. “And I’ll be happy to be the king.” Nanami squealed.

“Fine,” Sousuke muttered. “I’ll be the king too.” Nanami shot up to her feet.

“Since you’re both kings then you have to make more stuff out of flowers.” She waved her hand in the air. “Starting now, c’mon.”

Makoto grabbed a few flowers and attempted to make a ring out of them. It came out lopsided and fell apart. Sousuke managed to make two more crowns. He placed them both upon Makoto’s head.

“So, if I was king, then you would be king too?” Sousuke rearranged Makoto’s flowers and then worked on yet another crown.

“Don’t queens and kings have to get married? That means that we have to get married. I don’t think that our parents would be okay with that.”

“Your parents seem nice.” Sousuke then put the last crown on his own head. Each flower was blue. “My parents aren’t okay with anything.” He laid back against the grass. “But I wouldn’t mind though.”

“Huh?” Makoto tapped Sousuke’s arm. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He was waved off.

“Nothing. Now can you watch Nami for me? Make sure she doesn’t wander away too far, I’m going to nap.”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t get too far.” Makoto straightened up to look over the flowers. Nanami was twirling around with her doll.

Makoto briefly took his eyes off of her and looked down on Sousuke. His eyes were closed and he was at ease to Makoto. His jacket sleeves fell some, exposing his arms. Makoto gasped when he saw that there were bruises from his wrist to his elbows. It looked like whip marks, like Sousuke had been hit with a belt repeatedly.

But by who? Makoto didn’t know how Sousuke behaved in school. He didn’t seem like a disobedient student, or child for that matter. So it must not have been his parents’ doing either.

“Um, Sousuke?” Makoto whispered. The boy shifted slightly and opened one eye. “How did you hurt yourself?”

Sousuke closed his eye. “You’re not watching Nami.” Makoto looked up again. Nanami had not moved.

“She’s fine.” Makoto touched his arm, near an old scab. “But what happened? How’d you get hurt so much?”

“I fall a lot.” Sousuke brushed him off. “Watch Nami.”

Makoto focused all of his attention on Nanami. She still had not moved.


	3. September 13, 1931

"Am I invited to your birthday party?" Makoto asked, eyes hopeful.

"No."

Makoto loosened his grip on the grocery bag he was carrying. He felt like his heart had dropped.

It had taken a lot work to try to befriend Sousuke, and Makoto had finally felt like his efforts — a long year later — had been fruitful.

The boy had opened up to him more. Makoto even witnessed the smallest smile on Sousuke's face one time after he finished a can of creamed corn. Makoto liked his smile and wanted to see it again, but there seemed to be no way how.

"Why not? I thought we were friends." Makoto set the bags in his hands on Sousuke's dining table. The table was small, unpainted, and had a broken leg. Sousuke's father looked like he could take up the entire table with his shoulders alone.

"We're friends." Makoto let out a sigh of relief. If his year-long efforts had proved futile, then he would shatter all over on the inside like a broken bottle. "I'm not having a birthday party."

"What? No birthday party? But…" Makoto pouted down at the foodstuffs he stacked on the counter.

"But what?"

"But everybody has a birthday party. How come you aren't?"

Sousuke shrugged. He took out three containers of liquor alongside some cigar boxes and cigarette packets. Makoto's parents have never drunk or smoked in any way that he knew of. The man of the Yamazaki household seemed to always have smoke billowing from his mouth while Sousuke's mother usually had a drink in one hand.

Makoto had never seen her smile now that he thought about it. She probably had a nice smile like her son and daughter.

"I don't like parties." Sousuke grumbled. "And I'm twelve. I'm getting too old for parties."

"What? Twelve isn't too old for parties. You stop having parties when you're—" Makoto tallied up a number in his head. "—like twenty-five. Because then, you're an adult. And you have to do adult stuff. Like having a job and paying for a house."

"Or you could smoke and drink until you can't breath and stand up again." Sousuke crushed the packet of cigarettes in his hands. "Nami's got weak lungs. If she breathes too much of this she coughs and she won't stop."

"I didn't know that." Makoto glanced over at the cigar boxes. They were all wooden and had little peonies and cherry blossoms sketched onto them.

Cigars had a stronger odor than cigarettes. So if Nanami breathed in cigar smoke, would she be able to breath at all?

"That's why I go to your house all the time. The air is clearer over there." Makoto nodded. The air around his house was significantly less polluted than Sosuke's. It also smelled better. "If she stops breathing one day, then…" Sousuke shook his head and returned back to unpacking.

"Then what?" Makoto picked up. Sousuke grew still for a moment. "S-Sou—?"

"Then there's no point. Nami's everything to me. If she's gone, then there's no point. I'll just run away or something."

Makoto's eyes widened. "No, you can't run away! How are you going to eat? Where are you going to sleep? You'll just die on the streets."

"Good. I was born on the streets. I'll make a full circle."

"No, no. Stop it. Don't talk like that." Makoto wrung his hands together and glanced at the front door. He felt like someone was eavesdropping on them somehow. "If it gets, you know, _really_ bad, go to my house. I'll give you the key at night or something. Just please don't run away!"

Sousuke turned to him. His eyes glazed over with an icy haze. Makoto jumped when he suddenly reached out and ruffled his hair. "You're too damn nice." Sousuke smirked. 

"D-Don't swear." Makoto smiled though. It was the first time that Sousuke had intentionally touched him.


	4. September 14, 1931

Makoto flashed an uneasy smile towards Sousuke as they walked across the street.

"Renault Primaquarte," Sousuke murmured. Makoto glanced over at the car in the driveway also. He didn't know the name of it. It must have been new. The car's paint looked like it was freshly coated and the tires were glistening.

The door opened before Makoto could raise his hand to knock. "Mako! Sou! I didn't know that you guys were actually going to come!" They were then both enveloped in a tight hug.

Makoto chuckled. "Hi Nagisa." He returned the embrace with one arm. Sousuke only stood still.

"Come in, come in." Nagisa pulled the two inside. "Haru and RinRin are upstairs. I'll be right back." He then pranced off to another part of the household.

Makoto loved going to Nagisa's house. He lived in a nice part of the town (not like Makoto and Sousuke didn't; they lived by the meadow, away from most people) where there were two to three storey houses on each block.

There were also new shiny cars parked in front of each home. Sometimes women in pastel dresses would be in their front lawns, chatting amongst themselves with glasses of lemonade and toy dogs prancing at their feet.

Makoto knew that Nagisa didn't have a pet because one of his many sisters had severe allergies.

"I don't like them." Sousuke muttered once they reached the top of the stairs.

Makoto's eyes widened. "You don't like Nagisa, Haru, and Rin?"

"I like Rin, but I don't like the others. They're annoying." They then walked down the hallway.

Makoto understood with Nagisa. The boy was younger than all of them and he was also the wealthiest. Makoto remembered Sousuke's parents mumbling that the Hazuki's were favored because they looked so American with their blonde hair and pale skin.

He could also be clingy at times. He didn't have a volume control to his voice either.

But Makoto didn't understand why Sousuke didn't like Haru. Haruka was quiet, stoic. Much like Sousuke himself.

The boy didn't say much. Not even in summer when the pool opened and he was the first to jump into the water.

There was nothing wrong with Haruka.

Rin jumped slightly when Makoto and Sousuke entered Nagisa's room.

"Scaredy," Haru murmured to him.

"No I'm not!" Rin crossed his arms and huffed. "I just wasn't expecting for the door to open. Shut up."

"Still scaredy." Haru then moved to Makoto's side. "Not like Makoto though."

Makoto pouted. "Hey, I just don't like scary movies. I'm not _that_ scaredy."

"Sure." Haru shrugged.

Makoto turned his eyes to Sousuke. He was just standing in the doorway. Something told Makoto that he was uncomfortable.

"C'mon." Makoto tugged on Sousuke's jacket sleeve. He hadn't taken it off when they entered the house. Strange.

Makoto continued to hold onto Sousuke just in case he would slip away as he talked to Rin and Haru.

Rin was going on about the new swim team that was forming and that he could beat Haru in any race, any time, much to Haru's chagrin.

Nagisa returned with a tray of apples and lemonade. His neighborhood seemed to have an endless supply of lemonade.

"Today's Sousuke's birthday." Makoto said. He handed an apple to Sousuke before he took one for his own.

"Really?" Nagisa clapped his hands. "Want me to get my mom to bake a cake? We could sing too! Let's do it."

Sousuke shook his head and bit into his apple. He started from the top, where the stem was. Makoto always found his eating habits odd.

"I don't want a cake. And you guys don't have to sing."

"Please Sou." Nagisa whined. "My mom bakes all the time, it's no big deal. What's your favorite flavor? Vanilla? Chocolate — like Mako? Or maybe it's lemon or something."

Sousuke shook his head. "I don't want a cake." He repeated. "So stop it."

"You said that your favorite flavor was almond poppyseed, right?" Makoto murmured. He quickly took a gulp of his lemonade when Sousuke shot him a glare.

Nagisa jumped up. "Okay! I'll go tell her to make some right now." He then leaped out of the door and downstairs.

— -

Sousuke gave the slice of cake that he had saved to Nanami. She ate it gleefully.

Makoto laid out some blankets on his bedroom floor for them. Sousuke had said something about his parents being away for the night and left it at that.

Nanami laid off on Makoto's side. She placed her doll in between them.

"What's her name?" Makoto asked.

"It's Princess Poppy! Because I'm the queen and you and Sou are the kings. So that makes her the princess." She yawned. "Goodnight Mako."

"Goodnight Nami." He ruffled her hair. He then tweaked the nose of the doll. "And goodnight Poppy."

" _Princess_ Poppy." Nami yawned again and began to curl into a ball.

"Princess Poppy." Makoto corrected. She fell asleep within a matter of seconds.

Sousuke shifted on Makoto's other side. "Makoto," he called out.

"Yeah?"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Makoto was momentarily taken aback. He had considered the question a few times but never really thought hard about it. Sometimes he wanted to be a fireman, because they were heroes and he always wanted to be seen as a hero.

Other times he wanted to be a veterinarian, because the current one was getting old and he loved cats.

And then there were times when he wanted to be a teacher, because he wanted to teach other people things also.

"I don't really know." Makoto answered honestly.

"You want to get married? Have kids?"

Makoto tried to imagine himself with a wife, in front of a house, surrounded by dozens of children. He didn't find the mental image favorable for some reason.

"I don't know. Maybe." Makoto gave a slight shrug. "It's what everybody does when they're an adult, right?"

"We should get married."

Makoto froze. "Huh?"

"I said," Sousuke turned over to face him, "we should get married."

"B-But why?" Makoto didn't think that Sousuke was being serious.

Makoto replaced the wife and children in his mind with Sousuke. He found himself actually liking the picture this time. Sousuke was smiling along with him in his mind.

Would Sousuke always be happy if they got married? Makoto turned to face Sousuke also. He had a serious look on his face, as usual.

"You're nice. Too nice for your own good. And I'm not. So if we got together then I might become nicer." Sousuke closed his eyes. "My dad says I look like my mom all the time: angry. He said that no girl is going to like me because I scare them away."

"I don't think you're angry." Makoto gave one of his hopeful smiles. "I think you're just sad."

"Sad?" Sousuke parroted.

"Yeah, sad. I-If it makes you feel better, I'll marry you if it makes you happy. Then you won't look mad anymore."

Sousuke opened his eyes and stared at him. "You think that that'll make me happy?"

"Well, I guess." Makoto turned away from him.

"Promise."

"Promise what?"

"That you're going to marry me someday. Promise to make me happy all the time. And Nami too."

Makoto slowly held up his hand to Sousuke's. He outstretched his little finger to him. "I pinky promise. Cross my heart."

Sousuke raised his hand also. "And hope to die?" Makoto nodded. He entwined their fingers together.

"Stick a needle in my eye." Makoto swung their hands a bit. "I forgot how the full saying goes. Rin told me once, but that was a long time ago."

"Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye—" Sousuke laid their hands down. "—wait a minute I spoke a lie. I never really wanted to die. But is I may and if I might, my heart is open for tonight. Though my lips are sealed and a promise is true, I won't break my word to you.

"But if by chance I should somehow slip, accidental words tumbling from my lips; if this solemn vow I should break, then no more breaths shall I take. Thus you know this promise is not a lie for I am not prepared to die."

Makoto looked back at Sousuke with surprised eyes. His mouth was hanging open slightly. "Wow. How'd you memorize all that?"

"Just did. Night." Sousuke closed his eyes again.

"Goodnight." Makoto whispered. He faced the ceiling of his room and let the sound of the Yamazaki children's steady breathing lull him to sleep.


	5. September 15, 1931

Makoto awoke with his hand warm and sticky with sweat. He looked down to find that he and Sousuke had moved from twining fingers to holding hands in their sleep. Makoto quickly detached them.

He turned to his other side. Nanami was gone, but her doll remained. He picked up the doll and looked around his room. There was no sign of her.

Makoto shook Sousuke's side. "Sousuke, wake up. Nami's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?" He untangled himself from the blankets. "Where is she?"

"I don't know." Makoto handed over her doll. Sousuke frowned down at it. He then shoved the doll into his pocket and raced out of the door.

Makoto's parents were startled when Sousuke barged into the main room.

"Sousuke, I didn't know you were here." Makoto's father said. Sousuke grumbled a quick greeting to them before he went out the door. Makoto apologized to his parents and followed soon after.

"Nami!" Sousuke yelled through the meadow. "Nanami Yamazaki!" Makoto followed after him silently. His voice was too soft to carry like Sousuke's did. "Nanami!"

Just when Makoto was growing crestfallen, he heard a noise. It sounded like a high-pitched cough. He grabbed the hem of Sousuke's shirt to stop him and direct him in the sound of coughing.

They found Nanami in the middle of a bed of flowers, coughing. Sousuke picked her up and looked her over. Her skin was pale and her lips and nails had gone blue.

Makoto stared at her wordlessly as they ran back to the Tachibana household, while Sousuke questioned why she had snuck outside at night.

Sousuke kicked the front door open with his foot. "Mr. Tachibana, she won't stop coughing." He placed Nanami in his arms.

Makoto's parents laid Nanami on the dining table and hovered over her.

"Go to school boys, we got this." Makoto's father smiled and waved them away.

Makoto kept his eyes on them as he slipped on his hat and backpack. Sousuke opened the door for him.

"What do you think happened?" Makoto slowly asked. Sousuke shrugged. "I thought you said she only coughs around smoke."

"I don't know." Sousuke shrugged again. "She might have went home. And then dad might have been smoking, and then she went outside but it got worse. I don't know."

"Yeah, maybe that's it." Makoto sighed. "Her lips were blue."

"That's never happened before." Sousuke clasped his hands together. "What if this is it?"

Makoto observed Sousuke. His eyebrows were creased together, but he didn't look angry. His hands were in fact shaking and Makoto could hear that his breathing was growing erratic.

Makoto laid his hands over Sousuke's. They stopped shaking almost immediately.

"It's okay. My parents will take care of her."

Sousuke's frown grew. "But Makoto—"

"She'll be okay." Makoto patted his hands. "Don't worry. We'll see her after school and she won't be coughing anymore." Makoto hesitantly wove their fingers together.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to make you happy, like I promised." Makoto smiled, but it went down a second later. "Oh, you don't have your backpack. Let's go back to get it before we're late."

Sousuke shook his head. "There isn't any school today. School got cancelled."

"What?" Makoto stopped walking. "They can't just cancel school!"

"But they did." Sousuke kicked a stray pebble that was by his foot.

Makoto was in shock. The teachers' arguments had worsened, but he wouldn't have thought that it would escalate to the cancellation of school.

He needed school. School was where he could be himself and be with his friends. Under the schoolhouse, there were no worries. Now what was he supposed to do? He would succumb to anxiety if he stayed home all of the time.

Sousuke brought him back to reality with a squeeze. "We're in front of the drugstore. I have money."

"Um, okay." Makoto removed his hat when they stepped inside the store. "Hi Rei." He said when they reached the counter. He didn't mean for his voice to come out as glum as it did.

"Hi Makoto. What's wrong?" Rei pressed his glasses up his nose. The temple was crooked and the lens had a crack running through them. Makoto didn't understand why he couldn't afford to get a new pair. His family owned an entire drugstore, and it was pretty successful too.

"Nothing's wrong." Makoto smiled, though it was pained. "What did you want to get Sousuke?"

Sousuke tapped his free hand on the counter. "Get me some chocolate bars. Any kind." Rei went underneath the counter to fetch what he wanted.

"Chocolate bars?" Makoto raised an eyebrow. "Why do you want chocolate bars?"

"I just do." Sousuke slapped a crumbled dollar on the counter and scooped up all of the candy in one hand. "Thanks."

Sousuke sat down on the curb in front of the store. He dragged Makoto down with him. He dropped the majority of the chocolate bars into the boy's lap.

Makoto unwrapped a bar confusedly. He couldn't understand why Sousuke was showing him this sudden kindness. It was Sousuke's sister that was sick, not his.

Makoto's heart snuck at the thought. He took a bite out of chocolate bar and hummed to himself at the taste. It was a bit stale. He was still going to eat it though.

His parents had told him next to nothing, but Makoto figured out by himself that he was not getting a new brother or sister after all. He was wondering why his mother continued to cry despite that fact that they had received a letter from his grandparents saying that they were okay.

Makoto felt his hand become squeezed again. "You're nervous."

"So are you." Makoto returned to his chocolate bar. "I'm always nervous."

"I know." Sousuke yawned. "Meek Mako."

"Don't nickname me that." Makoto moved on to another candy bar. "I'm not meek."

"Of course not." Sousuke laughed. It was brief and quiet, but Makoto caught it and laughed back anyways.

— -

Makoto and Sousuke checked on Nanami before they walked outside. The evening was settling in and dinner was heavy in their stomachs.

Sousuke's father said that there was a "scuffle" in the homeland. But he didn't expand on it.

Makoto handed Sousuke his corn cob. "You really like corn."

"I guess."

Makoto looked skyward. There was a new moon. Around the whole in the sky there were millions of dazzling stars. There was a wind, and it was beginning to pick up.

"I told you that she's going to be okay." Sousuke tossed his empty cob into the meadow. "We were really worried."

"I'm still worried." Sousuke laid back. Makoto could make out his arms from the pale starlight. New marks were on his skin.

"I'm worried too." Makoto grabbed his arm. "You're hurt again."

Sousuke didn't snatch his arm back this time. "I told you, I fall a lot."

Makoto shook his head. "This is from a whip. If you fell there would be bruises." He ran his hand over a reddened mark. "What happened? Why'd you get whipped?"

Sousuke shook his head. "I was talking back. I deserved it." Makoto pulled up his sleeves. "Stop it. I'm fine."

"Spend the night." Makoto let go of him. "So you won't get whipped again."

"Okay. Whatever floats your boat."

"Thank you." Sousuke didn't respond.


	6. September 20, 1931

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated the tags! ★
> 
> answering a [question](https://www.fanfiction.net/r/10621042/5/1/) from my ff account here too. yes, Makoto's mother did have a miscarriage. but since this is from the POV of a young boy, i can't really get into depth of what had happened. Mako just thinks that his mother was pregnant one day, and then "not" the next.

The door suddenly opened, startling the Tachibana family. Sousuke came running in with Nanami in his arms. Without saying a word, he placed her next to Makoto's leg and then ran back outside again.

"Sousuke!" Makoto's father called out. Sousuke slammed the door behind him without turning around. 

Nanami, wordlessly also, stood up and walked over to the window. The Tachibana's glanced at each other as they walked to the window also.

The view overlooked the meadow. Instead of peaceful flowers swaying in the breeze there was a boy running away from a man with a belt.

Makoto could hear Sousuke's father yelling, but his shouts were muddled in Makoto's ears. He couldn't believe the sight that he was seeing. He couldn't believe that his suspicions had been confirmed.

He didn't want for his thoughts to be true. He had let himself be convinced that Sousuke really did fall a lot, even though it didn't add up. Even though he had whip marks instead of bruises. Even though Sousuke was not the slightest bit adventurous or clumsy.

Then, Makoto saw his father running out through the meadow. His father was always calm, he had never seen him running or panicked before.

The door opened again and Makoto spun around. His father was carrying Sousuke. It was like a repeat of what happened with Nanami.

Sousuke's arms were covered in new marks. Makoto was expecting for him to cry (he would've cried; he would've cried from being just yelled at), but he wasn't. He was deadly silent.

Another Yamazaki broke into their house. Sousuke's mother had a bottle of moonshine in one hand and a bewildered look on her face.

"Sou? Sou, you alright?" She asked. She threw the bottle on the table and reached out to him. Sousuke was unresponsive. "Sou, I'm sorry. I don't know why I let it happen again."

"It's okay." He muttered.

"No, no, no." Tears burst from her eyes. It was as if she was feeling all of Sousuke's pain. "I keep letting you down. I don't know why."

"It's okay." Sousuke let himself down from Mr. Tachibana's arms. "Just go home." He rubbed over his hands but flinched away.

"But Sou. I-I just feel like…" His mother trailed off and turned to the door. Everyone slowly turned around too.

Makoto was horrified for a moment. It was Sousuke's father, but he no longer had a belt in his hand. He instead had two suitcases and a cigar.

He tipped his straw hat toward Mr. Tachibana and then turned to his family. "Let's go." He said.

Nanami and Sousuke didn't move. They only stared at their father. Mrs. Yamazaki, still weeping and sobbing, went to the door.

"C'mon kids." She urged. They did not budge an inch away from their spots.

Makoto was expecting another argument. A big fight was going to unfold like in the violent western films that he had seen with his friends. 

He was expecting a slap when Mr. Yamazaki shrugged his shoulders.

Makoto was expecting a punch when he took Mrs. Yamazaki by the arm and pulled her out of the house.

He was expecting bloodshed when they just left.

He was expecting wounds when he, his parents, Sousuke, and Nanami stood outside and watched the couple leave.

"They're leaving?" Nanami murmured. Sousuke patted her side.

"Yeah."

"No more coughing?" Sousuke shook his head.

"No more coughing."

They watched until the couple became specks in the distance. Makoto wondered why they left and where they were going. Everything that had just happened was still digesting in his mind.

Makoto's father placed his hand over his shoulder. Makoto looked up at him with watery eyes. "Dad?"

His father shook his head slightly. "Let's go inside, alright?"

Makoto glanced back at where the Yamazaki's had disappeared one last time. "They're not coming back?" He asked.

His father tugged him inside of the house. "I don't think so." He answered. He then closed the door.


	7. December 25, 1931

Makoto hovered over Sousuke's shoulder when he returned back inside. "Who's the letter and package from?" He asked. He was more excited about the Sousuke's mail than Sousuke was.

Sousuke flipped the letter and box over. "My dad." He answered.

Makoto's heart sank. The Yamazaki's never returned. Makoto's father tried looking for them but could find no details. It was like they disappeared off of the face of the Earth and to never return.

The package and letter were a surprise. Makoto originally thought that the mail was a present for him from his grandparents until he saw that it was for Sousuke.

Makoto gently pried the letter from Sousuke's hands. "I'll read it while you open the box." He suggested. Sousuke shrugged and got to it.

Makoto's fingers trembled as he opened the letter. What did Mr. Yamazaki have to say to the son that he had abandoned? The handwriting was neat, yet scribbled on some spots. Mr. Yamazaki's signature was at the bottom.

" _To my dearest children: Sousuke and Nanami Yamazaki_ ," Makoto started. " _I have brought you presents. May you consider them as apologies for my lack of parenthood and presence. Nanami - obviously - will be receiving the doll. And my boy, I have given you the tools for you to become a man._ " Makoto glanced down from the letter to see if Sousuke had opened the box yet.

In one hand, Sousuke held an orange doll. It matched the pink one Nanami had. And in his other hand was a cigar box. Sousuke was frowning down at the cigars. It had a starburst pattern painted along the wood.

" _Also, I deliver bad news: your mother has died._ " Makoto heard Sousuke drop the box. It broke open and fresh cigars spilled out. He felt shocked himself. " _I believe that the cause is alcohol poisoning or liver cancer or something of the sort. Anyways, happy holidays and I hope that the Tachibana's treat you two well. Sincerely, Raiden Yamazaki._ "

Makoto watched Sousuke squeezed the middle of the doll until its eyes began to bulge.

"Sou?" Sousuke immediately dropped the doll. Nanami came skipping into the room. Mrs. Tachibana had sewn a new dress for her. It was red and fitted her frame. It also had all of its buttons intact. "Is that a doll to go with Poppy?" She scooped up the doll and squealed.

"Nami," Sousuke slowly said. She stopped hugging the doll to look at him. "Mom's gone."

She nodded. "Yeah. So is dad."

"No. Mom is really gone. Dad might come back, but mom never will." Her smile dropped. "Do you understand?"

She shrugged. "I think so. C-Can I play with my new doll now?" Sousuke nodded. Makoto saw her shoulders shudder as she walked away.

He dropped the letter in the open box and sighed. "I'm sorry about your mom."

Sousuke shrugged. "It was going to happen eventually." He stuck his hand inside of his pocket. "Here. I got you something."

Makoto was presented with two chocolate bars wrapped together with a blue ribbon. He smiled thankfully as he took it. "Thank you. I actually got you a can of corn."

Sousuke snorted. "Thanks. I'll eat it tonight."

"I know you will." Makoto opened the candy and broke it in half. "Merry Christmas Sou."

"Merry Christmas Makoto." Sousuke took a bite from the chocolate bar.

—-

Makoto's parents then distributed a few small presents to the children. Nanami received another dress (Mrs. Tachibana had seemed to take a liking to having another girl in the household), Sousuke was given a bag of peanuts, and Makoto was given a notebook.

Makoto accepted his notebook with glee but he was disappointed and confused. Sousuke was given one of his favorite foods and Nanami was given a brand new dress while he was given a notebook.

His father had explained that he sensed that a writer or a poet was inside of him and a notebook would help free it. Makoto didn't understand. He wanted a new toy car so he could officially race with Nagisa, Rin, and Haru.

Nanami dragged the two boys outside after dinner. She remarked that she had seen and shooting star outside and that she wanted for all of her family to make a wish together. Makoto was close to saying that he was not a part of her family until he realized,

"I'm a part of your family?" Makoto slowly repeated. Nanami smiled. One of her teeth had fully grown in. It was odd to see such a large tooth amongst baby teeth to Makoto.

"Of course you are! Our names are different, that's all." Makoto felt a swinging feeling in his chest.

"Thank you Nami." She shrugged and plotted herself on a spot of grass.

"You say 'thank you' a lot." She mumbled.

Sousuke sat on the other side of Makoto. Makoto could hear his jaw crushing some peanuts.

No shooting stars came that night. Sousuke and Nanami briefly argued if she had really seen a shooting star or not. Makoto believed her, which was enough to make her happy.

The children then went to bed with smiles on their faces except for Makoto. He was still trying to figure out what he was going to do with a notebook.


	8. July 4, 1932

Makoto held Nanami's hand to prevent her from running away. Makoto and his friends had been waiting all summer for the pool to officially open up. The opening was postponed until Independence Day because a lifeguard had been gravely ill. Now that the Fourth of July was in full swing and swimming bodies filled the pool to the brim.

"You can't run by the pool Nami." Makoto gently scolded. The little girl looked up at him with her large pitiful eyes. Makoto had noticed that her eyes were beginning to lose their blue hue. He hoped that they might return to blue since Sousuke and his mother had beautiful eyes. But for now, they looked like they were turning a more grayish color.

"Okay Mako." She chirped. She then sat by the poolside and dipped her toes into the surface. She kicked a splash towards Nagisa and a water fight immediately ensued.

Makoto considered joining Nanami but he backed away. He didn't know how to swim. He was so scared of drowning that he never managed to learned. His parents had tried to teach him but their lessons would turn into trips to the candy store to soothe their sobbing son.

Makoto felt Sousuke place a hand on his shoulder. "Why aren't you swimming?" Sousuke asked.

Makoto shook his head and smiled. "I don't feel like it right now."

"Why?" Sousuke put both of his hands on Makoto's shoulders. "At least get your feet wet."

Makoto felt himself become pushed closer and closer to the pool by Sousuke. He knew he had two options: back away from Sousuke and admit that he could not swim. Or allow himself to be pushed into the pool, grab the wall, float, and smile.

Makoto chose the second option. He then quickly realized that "floating" was not as easy as it looked.

—-

Makoto awoke in his bed. Blankets were tucked up this chin and he felt something running through his hair.

A small voice from above said, "You woke up." Makoto gave a weak smile. It was Sousuke.

"Hi." Makoto found that his throat was irritated. He decided that it would be best not to talk.

In the movies he had seen, whenever a person would go unconscious they would awaken the next day without a memory of what had happened. But the memory of drowning and nearly shaking hands with death was very vivid in Makoto's mind. He trembled a bit as his mind flashed back.

"I'm so sorry." Sousuke's voice was still low. Makoto tried to turn to look up at his friend but his body screamed for him not to. He instead focused on the sensation of Sousuke's hands kneading through his hair.

"S'okay." Makoto whispered back.

"No. It's not." Makoto couldn't have argued if he wanted to. He could have possibly died if Mr. Tachibana had not gone to the rescue. Sousuke did not need two deaths, especially if he had caused one.

So Makoto sat silently for a moment. He could see the moon's light beginning to pour through his curtains.

"Fireworks?" He murmured. Sousuke looked up out the window also, in a daze.

"I'll open them when they come." He then returned to stroking Makoto's hair.

The two boys fell silent again. "I was scared." Makoto heard Sousuke whisper. He wanted to reply, but he couldn't.


	9. April 30, 1933

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GO BACK TO CHAPTER SEVEN, I ADDED A PART. <3

Makoto paused instead of opening his door. He thought that he could hear Sousuke talking to himself from the inside. He carefully pressed his ear against the door and listened.

"Costa Rican? Fancy."

Sousuke was indeed talking to himself.

Makoto shook his head as he entered. "Sousuke, who are you talking to?" Sousuke didn't turn around. The air of the room smelled different. It was heavy and made Makoto's eyes water slightly. He stepped closer to Sousuke.

"Sorry." Sousuke mumbled. He turned around to reveal that a cigar was in between his lips.

Makoto stood frozen in the doorframe for a moment. Sure, he knew plenty of fourteen year olds who smoked. Rin had caught the habit much to Haru's chagrin. But he wasn't expecting for Sousuke to actually use the cigars that his father had given him. Sousuke had thrown them underneath Makoto's bed and forgot about them right after Christmas.

When Makoto's mind returned to him he closed the door behind him. His parents and Nanami were not home, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

He placed himself next to Sousuke. Sousuke did not take the cigar out of his mouth. "Sorry." He repeated.

"It's alright. You can do whatever you want." Makoto tried to give a reassuring smile but he felt pained. He also felt as if he had been betrayed in a way.

Makoto reached out for Sousuke's hand. He had grown his own habit of wanting to hold hands whenever he was troubled but he stopped himself. He let his fingers curl back into his palm as if he was just stretching his hand.

Makoto let his smile drop. "I came to get you."

"What for?" Makoto hesitated as he watched Sousuke exhale a breath of smoke.

"Nagisa's family having a party and we're invited. I really want to go." Sousuke shrugged. Makoto knew that Sousuke wasn't a big fan of the Hazuki's, especially Nagisa, but it was worth a shot. "Pleas Sou? I heard that it's going to be really nice."

Sousuke took another puff and then snuffed his cigar into the box beside him. "Fine. I don't want to stay though." Makoto's smile returned.

—-

Sousuke was more interested in the neighborhood's cars than the party. Makoto had noticed that Sousuke had a silent liking for automobiles. He wouldn't talk about then but if there was one around he was state a random fact about the car and admire it.

He was particularly interested in the Hazuki's newest car. It was glistening black and sparkled despite the spring sun.

Makoto attempted to hand Sousuke a drink. He had to hold the cup of lemonade between Sousuke's face and the car in order for him to pay attention.

"What kind of car is this?" Makoto asked. The lemonade tasted sugary. He wasn't sure if Sousuke would like it. The boy preferred salty and bitter tastes.

"It's an André. Only six are being made. How'd they get one?" Sousuke took a sip of his drink and scowled. He handed the cup back to Makoto. "Too sweet."

Makoto smiled. "I figured." He glanced over the car also. It was good looking and definitely belonged next to the Hazuki household.

Sousuke went to the side of the car. His breath hitched. "The key's in here."

Makoto panicked at the mischievous glint in Sousuke's eyes. "Sou, no! Don't do it. You can barely drive!"

Sousuke put his hand over Makoto's mouth and smirked. "They won't notice. Everybody's going inside." Makoto nipped at Sousuke's fingers to get him to let go but he held on tight. "Please? Just around the block Mako."

Makoto detested the fact that he gave in to things so easily. It took almost nothing to convince and persuade him.

He frowned and pulled Sousuke's hand off of his face. "Just around the block and back, okay?" Sousuke squeezed his hand.

"Okay." They then hastily got into the car.

—-

Makoto learned that "around the block" meant "to the city limits" to Sousuke. Before Makoto knew it they were out of the neighborhood and in front of the "Welcome" sign.

Makoto contemplated how to reprimand Sousuke as the car was parked and Sousuke took a cigar from his pocket.

"Heard about what happened in the motherland?" Sousuke asked as he lit the cigar.

Makoto's rebuke was put on hold. "Another earthquake?"

Sousuke shook his head. "The prime minster is dead." He sighed. "I feel a war coming on."

Makoto wasn't sure on what to say. "That would be bad."

"If America and Japan ever got in a fight, which would you chose?"

"That's hard. I guess Japan. It's where our family's from."

Sousuke stared at Makoto thoughtfully before he turned away. "I agree." He placed his hands on the wheel again. "Let's go back."

—-

"Get the hell out of our neighborhood," ended the lecture that Makoto and Sousuke received when they returned.

Sousuke only said, "I hate rich people." And then walked away. Makoto could not stop apologizing.

The two bumped into Rin at the mouth of the neighborhood. The redhead's usual comfortable smirk was gone and his eyes were rimmed red, as if he had been crying. At the sight of Sousuke and Makoto, Rin immediately glanced down and started fumbling with his pockets.

"Where did I put it?" He muttered. He then pulled out a cigarette.

"Rin?" Makoto slowly placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"A boat just sunk. I'm gonna go check it out." He then attempted to brush past the two.

"Wait." Sousuke grabbed Rin's shoulder also. "You okay?"

Rin wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. "Can you two go with me?"

Makoto nodded. "Of course." He knew that Rin's father was a fisherman and former sailor. In fact, Rin's whole family seemed to be connected to water by some way or another.

People dressed completely in black stood by the harbor. Makoto could feel Rin shaking from beside him. The cigarette he had pulled out fell from his mouth and rolled into the water.

"D-Do you think—?" Makoto enveloped Rin into a hug. His friend was cocky and strong, but also sensitive. He felt Rin begin to cry into his chest.

" _Tell her this and more_ ," Sousuke whispered. Makoto perked his ears. " _That the king of the seas weeps too, old, helpless man. The bustling fates heap his hands with corpses until he stands like a child with surplus of toys._ "

Makoto took one hand away from Rin's back and intertwined it with Sousuke's. The ceremony went on in near silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _quote by Stephen Crane._


	10. November 18, 1934

Makoto wasn't sure about what being fifteen years old was going to be like. Sousuke's fifteen year marked more mischievousness and frowns. Haru's included just more frowns. Rin became moodier than usual.

But for Makoto his fifteen year seemed to include more smiles. He continued to smile, a day later, as he walked with Sousuke through a new neighborhood.

Most of the houses had been built. The remaining houses were at the end of the street, away from public view. Sousuke suddenly grabbed Makoto's arm to stop him. "What?" He asked, confused.

"This," Sousuke gestured to the unfinished house with his arm. "This is the house we're getting married in."

Makoto felt his face flush immediately. He looked the house up and down for a moment. It was pale blue and didn't look too bad. He couldn't figure out what Sousuke found so endearing about it though.

"Wait a second." Makoto rearranged their arms so that they were holding hands instead of grasping one another. "Get married? What are you talking about?"

Sousuke cocked an eyebrow. "What are _you_ talking about?"

"Huh?"

"You forgot?" Sousuke raised both eyebrows.

"Uh, no? It's just that that was some promise we made when we were kids. You're still serious about it?" Sousuke firmly nodded. "Oh."

"Unless we're divorcing before we get married." Makoto smiled and shook his head.

They stared at the house for a moment longer before Sousuke tugged Makoto away.

"Where are we going?" Makoto asked. It was out of pure curiosity. Sousuke had made it a thing (for better or worse) to drag Makoto around wherever he pleased. Not that Makoto minded. He was glad that their friendship still held instances of childishness.

Makoto soon found himself in an unfamiliar place. A neon sign with some busted bulbs glowed overhead of him. It read something in French and a pair of women's heels were on the side.

Makoto's eyes widened in realization. He grabbed Sousuke's shoulder before he could get pulled inside. "Sou?" Sousuke stopped and turned around. "What's this? What're we doing here?"

Sousuke shrugged. He looked bored. "This is your belated birthday gift. Happy late birthday."

"B-But I don't want this!" Makoto tried to pull him in the other direction. The whole building, though it was small, was condescending in a way. "You can buy me some chocolate or something."

Sousuke shook his head. "Chocolate's for boys. Cabaret's for men. Which are you?"

Makoto's smile dropped for the second time of the day. "I know what you're doing."

"Hm?" Sousuke's expression eased some of its boredom then.

"You're pressuring me." Makoto put one hand on his waist. "Don't even try. I'm older and wiser. I can't be pressured anymore."

"Oh really?" Makoto nodded. Becoming fifteen had meant that he learned how to make his own decisions without another person's influence.

—-

Or perhaps not.

Makoto felt uncomfortable at first, being surrounded by drinks and dancers. _Male_ dancers too. He would have never guessed that there was a gay cabaret in the city that he had grown up in.

Sousuke disappeared and reappeared with two bottles in hand. He certainly looked older than his real age, but Makoto wasn't sure if he could pass for twenty-one.

Sousuke grinned as he uncorked the bottles. He passed the first one to Makoto and then clinked them together. "What are you frowning about? Alcohol's finally legal. It's a time to celebrate."

Makoto looked down at the bottle. A less than preferable smell was coming from it. He let the bottle sit on his lips just to taste it. The drink was surprisingly sweet. His first sip was easier to swallow than expected.

Out of the corner of his eye, Makoto watched Sousuke light a cigarette and take a deep sigh.

"Something wrong?" Makoto asked. Sousuke shook his head. "Are you sure?"

"I think so — yeah." Makoto took another sip of his drink. He and the rest of the world could tell whenever Sousuke was upset. It was so blatantly obvious that it was almost laughable.

"Is it school?" Sousuke shook his head again. "Mom and dad?" Another head shake. "Nami?" A puff of smoke. "Rin, Nagisa, and Haru?" A more vigorous head shake. Makoto sometimes forgot that Sousuke didn't like two thirds of his friends. "Me?"

Sousuke paused. He gave the smallest nod.

"What's wrong with me?" Makoto couldn't recall any recent arguments. In fact, they had been getting along nicely the past couple of weeks. The increased hand holding and impromptu trips certainly did not say otherwise.

"Nothing." Sousuke put out his cigarette in the glass tray in between them. "I don't know how to say it."

"Take your time." Makoto took another swing of his bottle. "We have all night."

An ear-catching tune suddenly began to play and Makoto made the mistake of taking a peak at the stage. What appeared to be a striptease was in play. He lowered his eyes as fast as he could.

"Still like me?" Sousuke asked. The question was random and confused Makoto for a moment.

"Yeah." He turned slightly to face Sousuke. "Why?"

"Nami said I'm getting uglier as the days go by." Sousuke drily chuckled. "She said that I'll never be as pretty as you or something too."

Makoto laughed also. "She's cute. I just wish that her eyes were still blue. You got really nice eyes, did you know that?"

Sousuke blinked. "I do? Thanks." He lit another cigarette. Makoto could've sworn that he caught a ghost of a smile just then.

—-

Two rounds of loud laughter rounded off into the night. Makoto and Sousuke nearly tripped over a patch of flowers in the meadow.

"What's so funny?" Makoto gasped out in between laughs.

"I don't know." After glancing at each other they laughed again.

They tried to reach the Tachibana household but they tripped again. Sousuke grabbed Makoto's arm. "Come're." He slurred.

Makoto scooted closer. Even in his intoxicated state he could smell the alcohol radiating from Sousuke. "Why?" He felt some fingers run through his hair.

"Just come here."

"Aren't I close enough?"

"No." Sousuke then tugged at Makoto's hair. It was still downy soft, like when they were boys.

Their foreheads then slowly connected. They looked at each other's eyes through the night.

"Nice eyes," Makoto murmured.

"I know. You told me that a lot." Makoto closed his eyes and hummed.

And then it happened. For some reason Makoto wasn't shocked. He was expecting for himself to be shocked and surprised like in the movies he had seen (Makoto really liked films), but he wasn't.

"Warm" would be the correct word to describe how he felt. Kissing Sousuke brought a warm and curling feeling in his chest. Makoto thought that it was his lack of sobriety for the sudden explosions going off in his heart, but he knew that that was wrong.

The two then feel asleep in the middle of the meadow. Makoto felt Sousuke kiss his forehead but he could have been wrong about that.


	11. November 19, 1934

Nanami rubbed Makoto's back as he vomited. "There, there," she muttered. She didn't even try to hide the tone of disgust in her voice. 

Makoto apologetically smiled when he finished. "I'm sorry." His throat felt charred and sore, and that did not help with his headache. 

"You're not sorry to me." Nanami moved the bucket away from her and applied a cooled rag to Makoto's forehead. "You're sorry for sneaking out, drinking, and getting sick. Be happy Mr. Tachibana and Mama Tachibana are at work, because you would've gotten an earful!"

Sousuke arose from the corner of the room and put out his cigarette. "Stop yelling Nami, he has a headache."

Nanami shot a glare up towards her brother. "I'm just trying to prove a point. I know you two are teenagers or whatever, but that's not an excuse to do stupid stuff." She then tucked the blankets around Makoto despite his complaints of being hot. 

Makoto admired Nanami in an odd way. It was like she was an adult in a child's body. She understood things quickly and knew right from wrong. She had seemed to have gotten a trait of excessively worrying from Makoto, yet she expressed it in a temperamental way like Sousuke would. 

Her eyes had turned to a complete shade of gray, much to Makoto's dismay. She also smiled more often than Sousuke. Her hair was a darker shade of brunette too. But despite the physical differences, and the more louder outcries of emotion, Nanami and Sousuke weren't too different from each other. 

"I'll be right back!" Nanami announced. She then pranced out of the room. 

Sousuke sighed and took Nanami's seat by Makoto's bedside. Makoto found himself sighing also. "How come you aren't sick?" He asked.

Sousuke shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I have a higher tolerance or something." He shot a quick glance at the door before he leaned down and kissed Makoto's forehead again.

"Why'd you kiss me?" Makoto blurted. 

"We kissed each other."

"No, not last night, but now." Sousuke raised an eyebrow. "We were both drunk last night, right?"

"Yes. So?"

"So, was last night alcohol or true intentions?" Makoto felt himself begin to flush over. He blamed it on his fever. 

Sousuke slowly blinked. "There's only one way to find out." He grabbed Makoto's hand. "Wanna start something?"

"Start something?" Makoto gulped. "Like what?"

"A relationship you fathead." 

"I'm not a fathead! And yes."

"You see, if we—" Sousuke suddenly stopped in mid-sentence. "What?"

"I said I'm not a fathead. Only you would ask to ration with somebody and then insult them in the next breath." Makoto smiled and squeezed Sousuke's hand. "And I also said yes."

"Oh. Uh…" Sousuke scratched the back of his head and looked at the door again. "Thanks?"

Makoto tried not to laugh, he knew that it would probably result in upchucking again. "Don't mention it."

The doorknob turned. Sousuke quickly stood up and let go of Makoto's hand. Nanami had brought a new pail and a glass of water. She eyed Sousuke as she returned to her seat. 

"Get." She remarked. Sousuke raised an eyebrow. "I put a pot on the stove too. Stir it. Burn it, and I burn you."

Sousuke rolled his eyes. "Yes ma'am." He shut the door with more force than needed on his way out. 

Nanami stared at Makoto for a moment. She then shook her head and handed him the glass of water. 

"What's wrong Nami?" 

"I didn't know that you two carried a torch for each other." She muttered. 

"Nami, raise your voice and no slang." Makoto gently reminded. The Tachibana's had taken a disliking to Nanami's sudden discovery of slang, especially "Mama" Tachibana. She was working hard to raise an independent and intelligent young lady and all were surprised that Nanami was cooperating. 

"How are you going to say 'raise your voice' and then say 'no slang'? You obviously heard me." She huffed and crossed her legs. "I was listening to you two."

"Oh?" Makoto tried to drink his water calmly. He was nervous on the inside. He wasn't sure how Nanami would react. Would she be happy and support them? Or would she wield back in horror and report of what he and Sousuke were doing to his parents? He never thought that he would be so afraid of a ten-year-old girl. 

"Quit treating me like a dumb Dora, I know what you two are doing. You're courting up with Sou. Why?" 

Makoto wasn't sure how to answer the question. He honestly wasn't sure when and where everything had begun. Was it when he had promised to marry Sousuke to make him happy? Or when they had stolen the Hazuki's new car and rode to the city limits? Or maybe way back when Sousuke had rescued his hat from the wind in the meadow?

"I just… like him." Makoto gulped the rest of his water. "No slang," he added. 

"You like him?" Nanami took the glass back. "He really likes you too."

"Huh?"

"Stop with the widen eyed look, it's not surprising." Makoto tried to control his facial expression. "After your birthday party Sousuke pulled me over and told me that he liked you and was scared that if you didn't fancy him back." She paused to take the rag off of Makoto's forehead. Makoto was glad that it was autumn so his room was cool. "He said he'll buy me a sun hat if I didn't tell anybody."

"Okay then. This conversation," Makoto patted the top of Nanami's hand, "is our little secret."

Nanami beamed. "Thanks! You know how long I've wanted a sun hat for the summer?"

A sudden bang sounded from outside the door. "Nami!" Sousuke called out. "It spilled over!"

Nanami huffed. "Ah, horsefeathers. You're such a soup can, Sou!"

"No slang," Makoto called out as she stamped to the kitchen.


	12. January 2, 1938

"Where's Sou?" Makoto's mother asked. Makoto and Nanami simultaneously said that they did not know. 

Makoto thought that he had some idea. Sousuke could have been looking for another job. He was still fixated over the blue house that they had seen when they were teenagers. It was completed now and costed a steep amount, yet Sousuke was determined to buy it and marry Makoto in it. 

The word "marry" always made Makoto sweat and gulp. It had been a lovely four years being Sousuke's partner but marriage was a completely different idea to Makoto. At the back of his mind, he wasn't too sure about being permanently stuck to Sousuke (if they could even get married that is).

The door suddenly bursted opened. Sousuke stumbled in and smiled widely at the eating family. 

"Hey big brother." Nanami nonchalantly greeted. Makoto stared at her with wide eyes. It wasn't every day that Sousuke came stomping in the house. He didn't understand how she was so calm about things. 

"Baby sister!" Sousuke wrapped his arms around Nanami's head and planted a sloppy kiss against her hair. 

"Sousuke, my hair!" She grumbled. Nanami still seemed to like the sudden show of affection though. 

"Where were you?" Mr. Tachibana asked. Mama Tachibana nodded along with him. 

Sousuke slammed a paper in the middle of the table. "I was getting married." He said. Makoto quickly hunched over the paper. It was a marriage license and his and Sousuke's names were written on it. 

Makoto heard his father drop a fork in the floor. "Married?" He parroted in disbelief. 

Sousuke nodded. "Yup. Married. Good thing you got a girly name Mako. Wasn't sure if it'll work."

"H-How?" Makoto choked out. 

"How? Easy." Sousuke picked up the paper. The Tachibana's watched him closely as he rolled it into his back pocket as if it was nothing. "I got the contractor guy drunk, paid him, and got him to sign it. Easy."

Makoto glanced over at his family. They were still in shock except for Nanami. She was cutting herself a slice of pie as if nothing had happened. 

"That's nice." She murmured and nibbled on her slice. "A little too spicy Mama Tachibana." 

"S-Sorry?" Mrs. Tachibana stuttered out. "Uh, Mako?" Makoto jumped in his seat. "You are excused." Makoto nodded and stood. He grabbed Sousuke's arm and pulled him into his room. 

Makoto let out a sigh as he closed his bedroom door. "What have you done?"

"Got us married." Sousuke smiled and swayed on his toes. 

"Well, you shouldn't have lied and we should've gotten the license together." Makoto wasn't sure why he was reprimanding a grown man. It was like Sousuke was a naughty kid with no morals again. 

"We wouldn't have been allowed to. If they saw two guys walk in we'd get kicked right out. So don't give me that honesty bullshit." Sousuke's smile widened suddenly. "And I love you."

Makoto's upcoming words became caught in his throat. In their four years of courtship, Makoto and Sousuke had always tiptoed around the word "love." Sousuke had somehow broken their silent barrier as if it was nothing. 

"I love you too." Makoto breathed out. He leaned in to kiss Sousuke yet was sent back by his breath. "You were drinking too?" 

"I love giggle juice too. But I love you more. And I had to drink, because I love you."

"Yes, but you drunk way too much. You know you can get sick from drinking too much, right?"

"Yeah. But I did it because I love you!"

"You only yell when you're drunk." Makoto frowned slightly. 

"Because I love you!" Sosuke yelled again. 

"I know." Makoto patted Sousuke's side. "But how is this going to work? Our relationship I mean."

"You know the weird relationship's over. Marry me. I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" Makoto gently asked. 

Sousuke hiccuped. "I love you!"

"I know. I love you too." If Makoto couldn't get a kiss, then he was certainly getting a hug. Sousuke squeezed back tenderly. "Now, go to bed. I don't want you to get sick. Okay?"

"Okay." Sousuke mumbled. He tripped and fell on top of the bed. Makoto snorted back a laugh and returned to the dining room. 

The tension in the room had grown in Makoto's absence. Nanami had finished half of dessert by herself and the Tachibana's had not touched their plates. 

"I got everything sorted out with Sou." Makoto announced. His father was the first to break out of his stupor. 

"And?"

"And I'm going to marry him." Makoto found himself shrinking behind Nanami. The girl had an odd protective aura about her. 

"I'm not sure about this." Mrs. Tachibana folded her hands in her lap. 

"I'm happy that I'm getting a brother-in-law." Makoto was glad that Nanami beat him to the punch in responding. 

Mrs. Tachibana slowly unfolded her hands. She connected her serene green gaze on her son for a moment. "Okay." She smiled. "Okay," she repeated. "As long as you're happy and Sou treats you with as much love as possible." She turned to her husband. "Honey, what do you think?"

Mr. Tachibana's eyes darted between his wife, his son, and his adoptive daughter. "I guess I agree too." 

"Thank you so much." It took all of Makoto's strength to not jump over the table and hug his parents. 

A thump sounded from down the hall. Everyone except for Nanami were startled. "Stupid big brother must've fell out of bed." She comment. She then cut herself another slice of pie as Makoto chuckled to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my birthday's in two days.  
> sooo, next update in three days? <3
> 
> if someone drew me Sou in a corncob suit, I would have the best birthday ever. (I accidentally made him obsessed with corn in this fic lol.)


	13. January 7, 1938

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this scene was (sort of) inspired by _The Fault In Our Stars_ because (a) i don't feel like writing smut, sorry, (b) that was a damn good book, damn, and (c) i like stars immensely.  <3

Sousuke handed Makoto a plastic bag when they entered their hotel room. "Not only did Hazuki lend me his car, he booked us a room and made a little care package for you." Makoto smiled. Nagisa was a golden ray in such monochromic times. "He also wishes good luck and many years for the happy couple."

Makoto paused upon opening the package. It took him a moment to realize that he was one half of what made "the happy couple." And was he happy?

Sousuke had given Makoto a few days to think things over. Makoto dared to even question his feelings for his childhood friend turned husband. He soon confirmed that yes, he was happy, and yes, he was in love.

But yet he pondered what kind of love was he in. He knew that his love for Sousuke went beyond one's love for a brother or a friend. Makoto worried if his love was conditional or unconditional also.

"Are you just going to stare at that bag for the rest of our honeymoon? We only got this night."

Makoto smiled and shook his head. "Sorry. I just got lost in thought."

Sousuke returned the smile. He walked across the room to hug his newlywed. "Are you feeling all right?" He pressed his palm onto Makoto's forehead. "No fever. Nerves?"

Makoto shrugged. He back away slightly to open up the bag. The first thing he saw were three bars of chocolate. Two dark and one milk. He took the bars out and set them on the nightstand.

Next was a change of clothes for both Makoto and Sousuke. Sousuke leaned over to see the items. "You get the plaid shirt." He announced.

Makoto pulled out the flannel shirt at the statement. "Why?"

"Because." Sousuke planted a kiss on Makoto's cheek. "You look really, really nice in plaid."

"Thanks." Makoto mumbled out. He pushed Sousuke away from him so he can finish getting out the bag's contents.

He blushed at the items that he pulled out: condoms and lubricant. He wasn't sure if Nagisa had packed them by himself or if Sousuke had requested them. He knew what people did on honeymoons, but him and Sousuke? The mere thought of "doing it" seemed extremely distant to Makoto.

He quickly set the foil and bottle down.

Sousuke hugged him from behind. Makoto appreciated the moments when Sousuke was touchy-feely. He treated the nights when it was too cold and the blanket was too small and they both were producing just enough body heat to snuggle into each other as little treasures.

Makoto kissed the side of Sousuke's arm on a whim and then pressed his nose into it. Sousuke suddenly smelled of cologne. It had to be Nagisa's doing because Makoto knew that Sousuke despised colognes and perfumes to the point where he would even turn his nose up at Nanami and Mrs. Tachibana if they wore some. (Makoto figured it had to do with Mr. Yamazaki - the walking fragrance of smoke, straw, and too much cologne.)

"I love you so much." Makoto murmured into warm skin. Sousuke kissed his cheek again and sighed. "Mr. Yamazaki," the brunet added as an afterthought.

"Makoto Yamazaki has a nice ring to it." Makoto chuckled. It did. "I think I'm too mean for the Tachibana name though."

"Sousuke Tachibana sounds fine. And is Nami mean?" Sousuke nodded without hesitation. "Well then. I'm telling Nami when we get back."

"No you're not." Sousuke pressed his lips into his neck. "Can I undress you for the evening?"

Makoto froze. His thoughts stopped and ran a mile a minute at the same time. His words caught in his throat. "Uh," was all he managed to stutter out.

Sousuke kissed his neck again. "Just for the night. We don't have to do anything, promise."

"Promise," Makoto absentmindedly parroted. He turned around and presented the buttons of his shirt to his lover. "It doesn't matter."

Sousuke unhooked the first button. "Nerves?" Makoto shrugged. Soon three buttons were undone.

"I'm always nervous. I'm Meek Mako, remember?" Sousuke shook his head. Another button was loosened.

"I remember. I didn't mean it I think."

Makoto raised an eyebrow. "You think?" His shirt was lifted off his shoulders then.

"You kind of went from Meek Mako to Terrific Tachibana." Sousuke snorted at his own words. "That was stupid. Sounds like a bad superhero or something."

"So now I'm a bad superhero?"

"No I think."

"You think?"

"All the time, Mr. Yamazaki. If I didn't, I wouldn't be alive."

"Hey, don't act like Nami now."

"I won't. I'm not a monster with a sun hat."

Makoto swatted Sousuke's arm with a laugh. The arm was still clothed. He hovered his hand over Sousuke's buttons. "Mind if I return the favor?"

Sousuke shrugged. "Do whatever. It's your honeymoon."

"And yours too." He began on the first button with slightly trembling fingers.

.

Sousuke pressed his face into the back of Makoto's head. "Like I said, we don't have to do anything."

"I know. But…" Makoto wasn't sure how to speak his mind.

"But what?" Makoto saw inquisitive eyes pierce through the darkness at him.

"But, what if I wanted to?" Makoto's breath was stolen by a kiss.

.

.

"Please be gentle. Please?"

"Don't worry, Meek Mako."

.

.

.

Sousuke took out a pack of cigarettes afterward. Makoto shuffled closer to his husband. He hissed between his teeth in pain. Sousuke (thankfully) did not hear.

"Can I have one?" He slowly asked. Sousuke nearly dropped his cigarette in surprise.

"What?"

Makoto smiled sheepishly. "I'm just curious as to what they're like."

"I can't believe it." Sousuke shook his head as he reopened his packet. "The Terrific Tachibana has turned into the Tobacco Tachibana."

Makoto huffed through his nose. "I'm curious, that's all."

"Curiosity killed the cat." Sousuke smirked. "Oh, you got the lucky cigarette. Maybe you're still Terrific Tachibana after all."

"Lucky cigarette?" Makoto took the cigarette from Sousuke. It felt like a rolled up piece of paper, nothing special.

"They call the last cigarette the lucky cigarette. I don't why, but it is."

Makoto rolled the cigarette over and over between his fingers. He puffed himself up with air and then returned the cigarette. "Never mind. I'm Meek Mako again, I can't do it."

"Didn't think so," Sousuke chuckled and returned the stick to its pack. "But I know what you can do."

"What?" A chocolate bar was suddenly tossed in Makoto's hands. He unwrapped it without question. "Thanks Sou."

Sousuke nuzzled into Makoto again. "Yeah, yeah."

"I mean it."

"I know. I love you."

"I love you more." Makoto broke off a part of the chocolate and fed it to Sousuke.


	14. August 31, 1939

Sousuke and Makoto looked over the former Yamazaki house. No one had so much as looked at it in the last nine years. Makoto always thought that there something untouchable about the house even before the Yamazaki's had moved into it. 

Makoto felt Sousuke flex his fingers against his side. He took his hand into his and held it tightly. 

"I don't have enough for that blue house." He kicked a rock that was by his side. "So I guess we got to settle for this." 

Makoto patted his side. "A house is still a home."

"Yeah, I guess." 

The door to the Tachibana house opened. Makoto turned his eyes to it. A man with unnaturally red hair - brighter than the Matsuoka family's - was leaving the house. He wore a tie and shoes that was as bright as his hair also. 

"Look." Makoto whispered. Sousuke looked up and studied the man also. 

The man looked toward them suddenly. He smiled. "Good morning!" He called out. 

"Morning." Sousuke nodded. The man then walked away. "Do you know him?" Makoto shook his head. "Nami's the only one in the house right now. So…" Sousuke practically ran inside of the house. 

Makoto walked slowly. He didn't understand what the cause for alarm was for. Sousuke rushed to conclusions too much. 

"You're only fifteen!" Makoro froze upon hearing Sousuke yelling. He was obviously upset about something. 

"Sou?" Nanami took a step away from her brother and turned to Makoto. Sousuke was fuming. "What happened?"

"She's expecting." Sousuke growled. 

Makoto frowned. "She's pregnant? How?"

"Mako, I know you're married to a man and all, so do I have to explain how babies are made?" Nanami smirked. Makoto knew that the remark was empty, but it stung somehow. He would not be able to have children with Sousuke. 

"Now's not the time for jokes Nanami." Sousuke recrossed his arms. "What are you going to do? You're not married. And how long have you been keeping the redhead guy a secret from us?"

"A few months," Nanami murmured. "But it's fine. He promised he'll married me by fall."

Sousuke clicked his tongue. "Fall? That's about enough time to roll out of town." 

"Shut up Sousuke! I'll get everything worked out before it's noticeable." 

"You just have to trust her." Makoto spoke up. Sousuke let his arms fall. 

—-

Makoto ran his hand over the furniture that Sousuke's parents had left behind. "At least you don't have to spend any money to furnish the place." Makoto sat down on one of the couches. Dust came off of it. 

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Nothing's wrong." Makoto stood and walked over to Sousuke. He was looking at a photograph of him and Nanami when they were younger. 

"You made a face after Nami said something. I was just wondering." 

"It isn't anything important. I just realized that we can't have kids."

Sousuke raised an eyebrow. "You just realized that?"

"Yeah. I don't know why." 

"Do you want kids?" Makoto shook his head. "Really?"

"Yes, it's all right. I had to sacrifice a few things in order to marry you, and children are one of them."


	15. February 1, 1940

Makoto felt hopeless. All he could do was hold Nanami's hand. She practically screamed in pain.

"Nami, want me to go—?" Sousuke asked.

"No!" She yelled. She gripped Sousuke to her side. "Stay here." Sousuke glanced at Makoto and then nodded.

Nanami's stormy eyes were growing darker by the second. It was like there was a personal thunderstorm going on in her mind.

"Uh-oh." A doctor muttered.

"What happened?" Sousuke looked over at the doctor.

"We're going to have to do a Caesarean section. Do you have anymore blankets?" Sousuke went to get an extra blanket. Makoto moved to hold both of Nanami's hands.

"What did he say?" She asked. Makoto wiped away the sweat on her forehead with a spare rag.

"There's a few problems. They're going to have to do a C-section." Nanami closed her eyes. "Uh, Nami? Are you alright? You can't go to sleep."

"Where's my deadbeat husband?" She whispered.

"Sou tried looking for him, but he couldn't find him." Nanami sighed and reopened her eyes.

The doctor straightened his gloves and looked at the two of them. "Are you ready Mrs. Mikoshiba?"

"Now's better than never, eh?"

—-

Makoto had once heard that having triplets was a one in four thousand chance. The Hazuki's oldest daughters were twins, but they didn't really look alike.

All three of the children in Nanami's arms looked alike albeit their eyes. One had clear teal eyes like Sousuke and his mother, another had Nanami's deep gray eyes, and the last had shimmering golden eyes like Nanami's "deadbeat husband."

Nanami's eyes did not leave Sousuke's. Makoto thought that they were possibly having some kind of telepathic sibling moment that he would never be able to experience.

"They're all girls right?" The life had left Sousuke's sister's voice. "Then I'm naming them after Mako's story." Sousuke touched her side.

"Don't talk."

"Right?" She repeated. Makoto took her hand and nodded.

"Okay." She nudged the blue-eyed baby, "Shunsetsu." The gray-eyed child, "Katsuryoku." Nanami coughed. Sousuke gripped her hand with a new vigor. "And Hachimitsu," the golden girl.

Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana took the babies from Nanami's arms. Makoto thought that he saw a tear in his mother's eye. Sousuke took the remaining child.

"Story?" Mr. Tachibana murmured.

Nanami smiled. "Mako wrote me a story called _Honeybun_." She weakly squeezed Makoto's hand. "Get it published for me."

"I will." Makoto was surprised that his voice didn't crack. He felt his eyes beginning to prickle with tears of his own.

"Big brother," Nanami called out. Sousuke bent down to his sister's eye level. "Hurts really bad," she muttered.

"Yeah." He tucked his niece into the crook of his arm and held onto Nanami's free hand. "Just fight it, c'mon." Nanami closed her eyes. "Nami?"

Makoto gently pried his and Sousuke's hands from her loosening fingers. Mr. and Mama Tachibana went into another room.

"Nami?" Sousuke called out again.

—-

Makoto changed the bedsheets with a frown. They reeked of blood and urine. He also bundled up the rags and blankets that the doctors used into the sheets and threw them out. They were beyond washing.

Mrs. Tachibana had stowed the newborns in her room for the night (while Nanami's body was being transported to the mortuary, Sousuke distracted himself by bestowing a nickname upon each child - Spring, Vita, and Honey) and Mr. Tachibana went out to the Ryugazaki's store get supplies for the children.

Sousuke sat by his lonesome in the living room. Makoto wrapped a clean blanket over his shoulders before he sat down next to him. "I'm sorry."

Sousuke shrugged. "It was impossible anyway."

"What was?"

"Her living. Having three kids and living? That's not possible."

"I guess." Makoto pressed himself into his husband's side. "How are you feeling?"

"Not sure." Makoto decided not to rub salt into Sousuke's wound. Nanami was literally his only family left.

"What's _Honeybun_?"

"It's not _Honeybun_ , it's called _Honey Girl._ " Makoto leaned back on his hands and turned his gaze up to the ceiling. "Nami asked me to write a story, so I did. It was about three sisters named Shunsetsu, Katsuryoku, and Hachimitsu Kobayashi who lived in ancient Japan. The two older sisters had murdered someone and were keeping it a secret from their younger sister when they visited each other."

Sousuke snorted. "I didn't know that you were capable of writing such a dark story."

"I'm not. Nami gave me the plot and I just wrote it. This was all about last year."

"Get it published for her."

"I will, I will. I just need to finish it."

They sat quietly together for a moment.

"Nami's everything to me." Sousuke put his head in his hands. "And she's gone."

Makoto was at an loss for words. "Y-You're not running away, are you?"

"No, I'm not a kid anymore. I can't just run away." Sousuke ran his hands over his face and through his hair. "I'm not going to give up, but I may just start over."

"Start over?" Sousuke nodded. He grabbed Makoto's hand and held it tight.


	16. May 5, 1942

Makoto went downstairs to the front door of his home. Sousuke usually called out that he was home when he returned from work, but Makoto only heard a door shut. "What's wrong?" He asked.

Sousuke shoved a slip of paper into Makoto's hands. "I got enlisted." Makoto looked over the paper with wide eyes.

" _This is letter is to ensure that Sousuke Yamazaki has been physically examined by the U.S. Army Expanding Board and declared qualified for general military service._ " Makoto frowned. "Wait, this means that you got examined. When?"

Sousuke took off his shoes and coat. "A few days ago. I forgot to tell you."

"How could you forget something like that? You're being drafted to go fight in a war Sousuke." Makoto shook as he thrust the paper into Sousuke's chest. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sousuke grabbed Makoto's wrist and threw the letter on ground. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

Makoto pulled his hand from Sousuke's grasp. "What does that even mean? You don't just forget to tell your husband that you're going out to Europe to die!"

"Makoto…" Sousuke murmured. Makoto shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you." He wrapped his arms around his torso. "Why didn't I get a letter or anything?"

"Because you're technically my wife, remember?" Makoto still didn't like the idea of being Sousuke's "wife."

"A-Anyway, you can't just leave." Sousuke bent down to pick up the letter. He pointed to the last paragraph.

"The train's arriving in two days. I can't just not go, I'll get arrested or something. Plus," Sousuke sighed, "I want to go."

"You want to?" Makoto dropped his arms to his sides. "Why? I don't understand."

"Remember how I said that I wanted to start over since I can't give up?" Makoto slowly nodded. "Well, this is my start over. This is—"

"No." Makoto took a step towards Sousuke. He grabbed the front of his shirt and twisted the fabric in his hand. "No, no, no."

"No? I thought you wanted me to—"

"No, please don't leave me Sou." Makoto wrapped his arms around him and pressed his face into his chest. "Don't go, please."

"I think I passed my separation anxiety on to you." Sousuke chuckled. Makoto could feel the vibrations of the laugh against his cheek.

"Why are you laughing?" Makoto tightened his grip. "This isn't funny. You might die."

"Yeah. And it's amazing." Sousuke returned Makoto's embrace. "It's gonna be so thrilling."

"What are you talking about?" Makoto wiped his eyes across his arms. "Death's not amazing or thrilling. How could you laugh about that?"

Sousuke shrugged. "Because I'm ignorant I guess. I heard some soldiers get hysteria and can't walk or talk if they come back home."

"Don't leave me please." Makoto held back from completely sobbing into Sousuke's shirt, but he found it difficult because of that fact that his entire world had been shaken.

"Can you wear plaid when I get back? I wanna see a good sight after looking at a lot bad ones." Makoto found himself nodding even though he didn't agree. He disagreed with the entire situation.

Bickering managed to make Makoto nervous. A war nearly made Makoto a nervous wreck. He knew that America was a relatively safe place and living in the Midwest helped him a great deal. Makoto could not believe the racism that Japanese-Americans were facing in the coastlines.

"Can you smoke with matches?" Makoto asked. He tried to clear his throat. "You can write what you're thinking on the matches and give them to me when you get back. I know that all letters don't come back."

"Okay, I'll do that." Sousuke kissed the top of Makoto's head. "So you're okay with all this now?"

"No. I just accepted that I can't change your mind no matter what I say." Sousuke pressed another kiss against his hair. "This is stupid."

"Everything's stupid. But I want to do it. All right? I just got to do this."

"But why?" Makoto leaned back so he could take a good look at his husband's face. Sousuke's expressions had hardened after Nanami's death. He wouldn't even soften up around his nieces. The Tachibana's never asked him why he didn't want to play with the children for too long, they understood (or at least, Makoto thought he did) the reasons for his coldness.

"I already said why. I want to start over."

"That doesn't make sense. And I don't want you to start over. And I don't want to start over either. I like things the way they are."

"I don't. My dad's gone, my mom's gone, and Nami's gone. For a stupid reason too. Those three bastards made her bleed to death."

Makoto let go of Sousuke. He turned around to wipe his tears with his remaining strength and dignity. "Don't call our nieces that."

"They are bastards. Was Nami married to Redder-Than-Rin at the time? No."

Makoto sniffled. "You changed."

"Everybody changes." Sousuke dug out his pack of cigarettes and his lighter.

"You let Nami change you. You managed to move on from your mother and father, but you let Nami get to you. Don't let her eat at you Sousuke."

"I'm not. Can't a man go out and fight for his country? Maybe I'm just feeling patriotic." Sousuke flicked open his lighter. "I'm fine."

"You hate patriotism. And you're not fine." Makoto turned again and watched Sousuke take the first puff of his cigarette. "This is a death wish."

"No it's not. Calm down Makoto. You should eat and go to bed, you're getting red in the face."

"I'm red in the face because I'm crying over the fact that you're trying to commit suicide!" The cigarette hanging from Sousuke's mouth fell. He quickly stubbed it with his toe before it could catch fire. "Stay home, please, just stay home."

A frown creased Sousuke's features. "And what am I supposed to do at home, Makoto?"

"Love me." Makoto opened his arms. "And I'll love you too."

Sousuke walked into Makoto's arms. He kissed his neck and inhaled deeply. "I love you so, so much."

"And I love you too." Makoto ran his fingers through hair. "Don't leave me."

"I'm sorry, I have too." Makoto's tears returned.


	17. May 7, 1942

Sousuke let his nieces surround him to the train station. He gathered them all in a hug and whispered, "Be good now."

"We will!" One piped up. He ruffled her hair.

Makoto ushered the children toward his parents. He looked over at everyone else at the station. There were families larger than his and other couples saying farewell.

Makoto took Sousuke's hand. "Stay."

Sousuke pulled Makoto into his chest by the arm. "Bye Meek Mako."

"I thought I was Terrific Tachibana."

Sousuke gave an empty chuckle. "You sound so miserable right now."

"I am miserable; Miserable Makoto." Another chuckle.

The train pulled up from behind them. Some people began to cry and shout. Makoto held Sousuke tighter. "Stay."

"I literally can't. I gotta go now." Sousuke stepped back. He smiled at his adoptive parents. "Thanks for dealing with me for all these years." They nodded. Mrs. Tachibana touched his shoulder.

"Go on now, Sou." Mr. Tachibana said. He handed Sousuke his bag. "I hope we meet again."

Sousuke bit his lip. He nodded. He turned toward the train. Someone had written " _Berlin or Bust!_ " in white paint on the front. "It's time." He said under his breath.

"Bye." Makoto let out a shuddery breath. "I love you."

Sousuke put his hand on the side of Makoto's face and rubbed his thumb over his cheek. "I don't have any poetry to recite right now, but wouldn't it be the perfect time?"

"It would, I guess." Sousuke put both on his hands on Makoto. A blank look took over his eyes. He pulled Makoto in and kissed him.

Makoto at first felt horrified. His parents were watching. The children were watching. The people of the train station were watching. But Sousuke's lips made him forget that there were eyes all around them. There were suddenly only two people in the train station.

Sousuke pressed another kiss against his cheek and another on his neck. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Stay?"

"I can't."

"I know. But it was worth asking." Makoto tilted his head to the side and smiled his famous Makoto smile. "Go on, the train's leaving."

Sousuke squeezed his shoulder and ran off to the train entrance. He waved before he stepped in.

Makoto considered joining the crowd of people holding the to-be soldiers' hands through the train windows, but he thought that the kiss was enough. He couldn't even see Sousuke through the window anyways.

Right when the train began to pick up speed, Makoto turned around. "Let's go. It's almost dinner, right?" Mr. Tachibana put his hand on his son's shoulder.


	18. May 8, 1942

"Mako, you have a visitor!" Makoto's father called out. Makoto dragged his feet through the hallway. His former teacher was at the door.

"Good morning Miss Ama." Makoto said automatically. "I'm twenty-three years old now, do I have to go back to school?"

"No." Amakata giggled and waved her hand. "You were great in class, one of my best students." Makoto nodded. He knew. "I'm actually not a teacher anymore."

"Really? What happened?" Makoto couldn't imagine Miss Ama as anything other than a teacher. There had been rumors that she was once a model. Makoto refused to believe it until Sousuke and Rin dug up some old photos of her. Makoto still could not believe it though.

"I just quit to work at the publishing company. There's a lot of positions open because… well, you know." Makoto nodded. He knew. "You know what they say. _The life is short, the craft is so hard to learn._ "

"I see. Anyways, not to be rude, but what did you need? I'm really tired and I have to work soon."

"I actually came to talk to you about work." Amakata reached into her bag. "One of my photographers were at the train station the other day and took this picture." Makoto's blood ran cold. The photo was of when Sousuke had kissed him. They were both holding each other tightly and Makoto had not noticed the smile on Sousuke's face. "We're not publishing it, so there's not need to worry."

Makoto tucked the picture into his pocket. "Thank you."

"Even though it was a total photographable moment, I personally stopped it from being printed. You're one of my students, and I would never do that to you." Amakata swiftly cut the air with her finger. " _The chief wonder of education is that it does not ruin everybody concerned in it, teachers and taught._ "

"Thank you very much Miss Ama." Makoto repeated.

"You're welcome. Anyways, about work: I want to hire you for the company. We could use a writer in a time like this, and you were the first person who came to my mind." Makoto paused. He needed to get Nanami's story published. Miss Ama had completed the second step for him.

"I would love to." Makoto shook her hand. "When should I start?"

"As soon as possible. Bye Makoto!" Makoto closed the door. Fatigue was weighting down him.


	19. June 19, 1943

Makoto had always been told that he gripped his pencil too hard. His hand was cramping up something fierce and it was frustrating him. He had to finish the last chapter of his story by the evening and he was making almost no progress. He had managed to catch writer's block at the very end of his story. 

In a sudden fit of anger, Makoto grabbed the glass bottle by his foot and slammed it against the wall. 

He sat in shock and stared at the shattered shards and fragments on the floor. He didn't know where his anger had came from. He knew it didn't just stem from his disability to write. 

Makoto had long mastered the art of holding his emotions within, yet it all seemed to snap when Sousuke decided to leave. 

"Uncle Mako?" Makoto seized up. He could have sworn that nobody was home. "That was loud."

Makoto flashed a weary smile towards the golden-eyed girl. "It's okay. I just dropped something."

"You sound sad even though you're smiling." Makoto let his smile wilt. He sometimes hated the fact that children were so unknowingly knowledgable. "Why are you sad?"

"I'm just sad because Uncle Sou left. I've been sad about it for a long time." Makoto stretched from his seat. His back was also starting to cramp from being hunched over a desk for hours. 

"Don't be sad. Uncle Sou's coming back." Makoto laid a hand on her shoulder. His fingers nearly covered her entire arm. 

"It's been a year Honey. I'm afraid that he might not come back."

"How do you know that?" Makoto was taken aback. 

"Uh, I don't?"

"Yeah. Don't say something you don't know."

Makoto's smile returned. "You're just like your mother." He took a quick peek at his window. The sun was setting and the due date for his publication was getting closer. "I have to go to work now. Be good."

"I'm three." Makoto patted Honey's tiny shoulder and chuckled. 

"You can be good at three. I was." He gathered the papers from his desk and put them inside of his bag. Perhaps inspiration would hit him on the way to the publishing company. "Bye bye."

"Be good." Makoto chuckled again. 

"I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter! ;D


	20. October 9, 1945

"Go outside Makoto." Makoto sighed. His mother was sweet and gentle, but she was persistent when she wanted something. "You haven't been outside for months."

"Okay." Makoto murmured. He reluctantly stepped outside. Once his feet were planted into the earth, he gave another deep sigh. The only time he had felt the sun was on his fingertips when he opened up his bedroom window. The October skies were relaxing on his achy bones. 

Mrs. Tachibana whacked him in the back of the head suddenly. Makoto winced and turned around to see what he had been hit with. His manuscript. 

His writer's block had stayed with him for an entire year. He had even tried to re-write the story and change a few plot points so it was more "Makoto" at his teacher's suggestion, but to no avail. 

The nights turned into days of quiet anger, and Makoto spent it all in his room. 

"What are you doing with that?" Makoto asked. He smoothed the back of his head. His mother could hit hard when she wanted to. 

"I'm going to the editor to publish this. Stay outside." Makoto meekly nodded.

Makoto paused for a moment and looked over his surroundings. There had always been a free-growing meadow behind his house for as long as he could remember. The meadow held much significance in his life. It's where he had met Sousuke above all. It was also where they shared their first kiss. 

Makoto sighed again and made his way down the meadow. He brushed his fingers against various flowers and grass. Most of the flowers were beginning to close instead of blossom because of the season changing. 

He then sat down by a clear patch. Sousuke still flooded his mind. Was he hurt? When was he going to return? Would he be the same if he returned? Some soldiers had returned and war had definitely changed them for the worse. 

Makoto was hit in the back of head again. He quickly turned around. "Mo—" But his mother was not there. There was only a hat. It felt light in Makoto's hands, so he figured that a random gust of wind must have blew it to him. 

He stood and looked around the meadow. He couldn't find anyone. 

"I should be careful. It's windy today." Makoto froze. He felt two arms wrap around his waist. "Hi Mako."

Makoto slowly turned around. It was Yamazaki Sousuke in the flesh and blood. 

He had a random spot of soot on his cheek and a cut on his chin, but he looked the same to Makoto. Makoto shakily handed his hat back. He had never received such a great shock in his life. 

Sousuke kissed his forehead. "Thanks. I see you're still as kind as ever." Makoto looked down at Sousuke's hand as he took the hat back. Part of his finger was missing. Makoto grasped his hand and held it up to the light. Almost down to the joint there was a nub. "I accidentally touched a bomb."

Makoto felt his eyes well up with tears. Sousuke had chosen to suffer all of this pain for what cause? He still couldn't understand. 

"Mako, what's wrong?" Sousuke pressed his thumbs into the sides of Makoto's face. "I'm fine, it doesn't hurt anymore."

Makoto shook his head. "I love you so much." He let a sob.

"I love you too. I missed you the entire time."

"Don't ever leave again." Makoto grabbed the sides of Sousuke's jacket. "Promise?"

"Promise." Sousuke pressed as deep as a kiss he could against Makoto's lips.


End file.
